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Avoid These 3 Common Mistakes When Asking for a Promotion, According to INSEAD Negotiation Expert

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Preparing for a Promotion Discussion

Asking for a promotion can be intimidating, but navigating the process successfully is a critical skill, especially in the workplace. Horacio Falcão, a negotiation professor at INSEAD, stresses that people often approach these discussions with the wrong mindset. Instead of focusing on pushing through a predetermined solution, he advises focusing on becoming a better negotiator by enhancing emotional intelligence, patience, empathy, and preparation.

Here are three common mistakes employees should avoid when negotiating for a promotion:

1. Moving Too Fast

Falcão’s first piece of advice is to avoid waiting until the annual review to ask for a promotion. He argues that waiting for a formal evaluation is a mistake because trust needs time to build. Rather than rushing into the conversation at the end of the year, employees should initiate discussions about their career development early on.

Falcão suggests regularly meeting with supervisors—whether through coffee chats or one-on-one meetings. These conversations allow employees to gather feedback and improve throughout the year while also helping to strengthen relationships with their bosses. Furthermore, they provide an opportunity to clearly express career ambitions. A proactive approach could sound like: “I’m excited about growing here. I’m ready to put in the effort to be the next person up. What do I need to do?”

2. Not Asking Questions

Negotiations can be high-pressure situations, often leaving individuals unsure of how to respond. Falcão advises that if you find yourself at a loss for words, take a pause and ask questions instead. Doing so can help you better understand the context and ensure a more productive conversation. Here are three key questions Falcão recommends:

  1. “How did you come up with that number?”
    If offered a salary or position figure, it’s important to understand the reasoning behind it. Falcão explains that numbers are often based on formulas or internal benchmarks, but the specifics matter to assess whether the offer is fair.
  2. “Why would you do this if you were me?”
    This question encourages empathy and offers a chance to see things from the other party’s perspective. It can also expose gaps in the employer’s reasoning or provide insight into the company’s budget constraints.
  3. “How are we doing?”
    Long negotiations can sometimes lead to disconnection or emotions running high. Falcão recommends checking in with this question to assess where the conversation stands and to create space for both sides to reset and continue in a more productive direction.

3. Having a Too Clear Idea of Success

Another mistake Falcão warns against is having a rigid, predefined notion of success. He explains that negotiation is inherently messy and involves co-constructing a solution with the other side. Many people mistakenly think that one party must “win” while the other “loses.” In reality, successful negotiations often result in a compromise or a mutually beneficial outcome.

The key to effective negotiation is listening and being willing to collaborate to find a win-win solution. Flexibility and openness are crucial, as the process may lead to a different but equally valuable outcome than originally envisioned.

Conclusion

By avoiding these common mistakes—moving too quickly, failing to ask insightful questions, and insisting on a rigid outcome—employees can enhance their chances of successfully negotiating a promotion. Ultimately, the goal is to foster a collaborative and open environment where both sides work toward a mutually beneficial result.

 

3 Practices of Emotionally Intelligent People with Their Smartphones

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In an age where smartphones dominate our attention, emotionally intelligent individuals recognize the negative impact of “phubbing”—the act of ignoring someone in favor of a phone. Research indicates that this behavior erodes trust and weakens relationships, leaving others feeling lonely and dissatisfied. Harvard-trained EQ expert Dr. Jenny Woo outlines three essential practices that emotionally intelligent people adopt to foster deeper connections while managing their smartphones effectively.

1. Plan: Set Intentions Before Social Interactions

Emotionally intelligent people establish clear intentions for their phone usage during social interactions. They employ “if-then” statements to minimize decision fatigue and resist the urge to check their devices. Examples of these statements include:

  • “If I’m having a meal with someone, then I’ll put my phone on silent and wait until the meal is over to check it.”
  • “If I remember something I need to do on my phone during a work meeting, then I’ll jot it down on a sticky note and handle it afterward.”
  • “If I absolutely need to check my phone during a conversation, then I’ll first inform the other person and explain what I’m doing.”

When they slip up, they don’t dwell on self-criticism. Instead, they acknowledge the lapse and repair any damage by saying something like, “I’m so sorry about that; you have my full attention now.”

2. Pocket: Keep the Phone Further Away

Research shows that simply having a phone within reach—even when turned off—can reduce cognitive capacity and focus. Emotionally intelligent individuals create physical distance between themselves and their devices to enhance mental clarity and productivity.

By keeping their phones in pockets or another room, they minimize the temptation to reach for their devices mindlessly. This deliberate choice helps them maintain focus during meaningful interactions and reduces the risk of distractions that could derail conversations.

3. Pause: Establish Phone-Free Zones

Constant phone notifications can keep our brains in a reactive state, making it difficult to concentrate on important tasks or interactions. Studies suggest that it takes an average of 23 minutes to regain focus after checking a phone. Emotionally intelligent people understand the need to manage these distractions.

They intentionally pause their phone use by setting designated phone-free zones—such as during meals or in bedrooms—and making agreements with family, friends, or colleagues to ensure genuine presence. Switching phones to “Do Not Disturb” mode and turning off non-essential notifications can further minimize interruptions, allowing them to cultivate deeper connections with those around them.

Conclusion

By planning their phone usage, creating physical barriers, and establishing phone-free zones, emotionally intelligent individuals can combat the urge to engage in phubbing. These practices not only foster deeper relationships but also enhance their overall well-being. While smartphones will always be a part of life, the moments shared with others are fleeting and should be prioritized.