3 Practices of Emotionally Intelligent People with Their Smartphones
In an age where smartphones dominate our attention, emotionally intelligent individuals recognize the negative impact of “phubbing”—the act of ignoring someone in favor of a phone. Research indicates that this behavior erodes trust and weakens relationships, leaving others feeling lonely and dissatisfied. Harvard-trained EQ expert Dr. Jenny Woo outlines three essential practices that emotionally intelligent people adopt to foster deeper connections while managing their smartphones effectively.
1. Plan: Set Intentions Before Social Interactions
Emotionally intelligent people establish clear intentions for their phone usage during social interactions. They employ “if-then” statements to minimize decision fatigue and resist the urge to check their devices. Examples of these statements include:
- “If I’m having a meal with someone, then I’ll put my phone on silent and wait until the meal is over to check it.”
- “If I remember something I need to do on my phone during a work meeting, then I’ll jot it down on a sticky note and handle it afterward.”
- “If I absolutely need to check my phone during a conversation, then I’ll first inform the other person and explain what I’m doing.”
When they slip up, they don’t dwell on self-criticism. Instead, they acknowledge the lapse and repair any damage by saying something like, “I’m so sorry about that; you have my full attention now.”
2. Pocket: Keep the Phone Further Away
Research shows that simply having a phone within reach—even when turned off—can reduce cognitive capacity and focus. Emotionally intelligent individuals create physical distance between themselves and their devices to enhance mental clarity and productivity.
By keeping their phones in pockets or another room, they minimize the temptation to reach for their devices mindlessly. This deliberate choice helps them maintain focus during meaningful interactions and reduces the risk of distractions that could derail conversations.
3. Pause: Establish Phone-Free Zones
Constant phone notifications can keep our brains in a reactive state, making it difficult to concentrate on important tasks or interactions. Studies suggest that it takes an average of 23 minutes to regain focus after checking a phone. Emotionally intelligent people understand the need to manage these distractions.
They intentionally pause their phone use by setting designated phone-free zones—such as during meals or in bedrooms—and making agreements with family, friends, or colleagues to ensure genuine presence. Switching phones to “Do Not Disturb” mode and turning off non-essential notifications can further minimize interruptions, allowing them to cultivate deeper connections with those around them.
Conclusion
By planning their phone usage, creating physical barriers, and establishing phone-free zones, emotionally intelligent individuals can combat the urge to engage in phubbing. These practices not only foster deeper relationships but also enhance their overall well-being. While smartphones will always be a part of life, the moments shared with others are fleeting and should be prioritized.
